Today we concentrated on Character Development, this is essential to a great script as noone likes to watch a movie or tv show with a boring, unfleshed character. We started with a bit of a free writing task. "using a slug line and screen directions (but no dialogue), in about 200 words, create and introduce a character in a screenplay." This was a lot more difficult than I first thought, primarily because I couldn't use dialogue. This is what I came up with...
INT: WAREHOUSE - NIGHT
The warehouse is quiet, drips of water from a broken pipe are heard in a corner, a rat shuffles past a hospital bed, camera pans up to see a stocky man tied down to the bed, he is blading and bloody. Beside him is a surgical tray with a very clean and sharpened knife. Through a creaky double door walks in HARRIS ASPIRE, on the outside you wouldn't take much notice of him, he is young, attractive, but he is very plain, average. If you look into his eyes however, you will see repression, a constant interior fight, you can almost see another HARRIS screaming to be let out. HARRIS shuffles over to a half broken mirror and stares into it intensly, he looks over to the unconcious body and whispers an apology . A sudden change takes over him, he twitches, he looks like he is having stomach cramps, the change makes him look more confident, almost evil, he walks up to the table and takes the knife with such glee. Beaming a smile he stands at the head of the lying man and starts to wake him...
Thursday, 29 March 2012
Jinx (A Birds Remake) Treatment
Today we was tasked with creating a reimaging of the Birds, much alike what
Dysterbia had done with
Rear Window. I love this area of film making so was dying to put some
of my ideas onto paper, I remember while watching the Birds, thinking
about how this attack is almost like a biblical event, like god had
sent these birds down to punish the sinners in this small town, of
course with Birds being so open to interpretation, my thoughts about
it can neither be right nor wrong. I took the concept of a biblical
attack into mind and started to try and craft something around it, I
thought that perhaps it wasn't a random town that was picked, but
perhaps it was because of the Melanie character that it was attacked,
like the hysterical woman in the hotel claims. Perhaps she had some
control over the birds, or perhaps that she was just a Jinx, a cursed
woman stepping into a town and dooming it. I ran with this idea and
created this...
Title - Jinx
Tagline - Death Always Sends A Message
Synopsis - Jo Jinx is a happy go lucky young woman who moves to a small seaside town with her father when he unexpectedly recieves a promotion.
Sam Synder – Love Interest, nice guy, has an instant crush on Jo from the moment he meets her.
USP – The unique twist on a classic.
EDITED
I was one of the few people in todays session to practise my pitch on the class, and I have walked away with a lot to think about, most of the audience feedback was them disliking the fact that I kill off the main character, especially after bonding and being with this poor woman throughout the entire film. They also didn't like that I separated the love interest and my main character, I did this for the simple reason that by definition, if I introduced a love interest, they become a main character, sort of by default. I already kill of one main character at the end, I didn't want another dead and have a Romeo and Juliet ending on my hands. I also think that the fact that I left the love interest alive builds on the ultimate sacrifice even more, it makes it a lot more heart wrenching when she is forced to say her final goodbyes and leave to ultimately die. Taking the dislike of my main character dying into consideration, I had to think of a way to create a happy ending, this is what I came up with.
Title - Jinx
Tagline - Death Always Sends A Message
Synopsis - Jo Jinx is a happy go lucky young woman who moves to a small seaside town with her father when he unexpectedly recieves a promotion.
She starts her new life
by enrolling in college and getting a small part time job in the
local café. She begins to have very vivid and horrific dreams about
the town folk being town apart by birds, she is mocked at first but
then her dreams starts to become true. Jo is blamed at first but as
the body count rises and more witnesses claiming that they saw birds
commit the murders, they turn there attention to attacking back. Jo
worries for her fathers and friends safety and begs them to leave
town with her, but she is approached by a strange little man who sits
her down at the café. He explains that he is death and that he must
send a message to humanity every so often to make sure they still
fear him, he does this by creating a omen, in this case the omen is
Jo, he tells her that where ever she goes, the birds will follow and
kill everyone around her. This forces Jo to make the ultimate
sacrifice and isolate herself in a cabin in the woods, with no one
around to attack, the birds have no choice but to attack and kill Jo,
thus ending the Omen and saving the town.
Key Characters
Jo Jinx – Lead
character, female, 21 years old.
Jo has recently moved
to the small town of JanesTown with her father, she picks up a small
part time job, and enrolls in college. She begins to have horrific
dreams that start to become a reality.
Wants – A Normal Life
Needs – To survive
and keep her new friends alive, as well as her father.
Sam Synder – Love Interest, nice guy, has an instant crush on Jo from the moment he meets her.
USP – The unique twist on a classic.
Target Audience –
Teens and Young Adults
EDITED
I was one of the few people in todays session to practise my pitch on the class, and I have walked away with a lot to think about, most of the audience feedback was them disliking the fact that I kill off the main character, especially after bonding and being with this poor woman throughout the entire film. They also didn't like that I separated the love interest and my main character, I did this for the simple reason that by definition, if I introduced a love interest, they become a main character, sort of by default. I already kill of one main character at the end, I didn't want another dead and have a Romeo and Juliet ending on my hands. I also think that the fact that I left the love interest alive builds on the ultimate sacrifice even more, it makes it a lot more heart wrenching when she is forced to say her final goodbyes and leave to ultimately die. Taking the dislike of my main character dying into consideration, I had to think of a way to create a happy ending, this is what I came up with.
Everything that I have
written previously still happens, this new part takes off from the
moment Death has a sit down and a cup of tea with Jo.
Upon hearing that it is
Jo's fault that the birds are attacking, the towns folk once again
turn their attention onto her. They grab her and plot to sacrifice
her life to hopefully end the curse, this angers Death and he sends
in flocks of birds to attack the entire town, during the chaos, Sam
takes the opportunity to save Jo. She is suspicious as to why Death
wanted her to stay alive as much as he did and decides that she must
confront him. She drives out to a deserted Cabin in the middle of the
woods and calls Death out. She succeeds by threatening to take her
own life, she demands that Death release his power over her, and
removes the Omen, when he refuses she tells him that he has no
choice, as with no one around to attack, the Birds have no choice but
to attack and kill Jo, when Death sees how prepared she is to die for
the town he backs down and lifts the Omen. The movie ends with the
birds flying away, towards Deaths next Omen.
The Birds Treatment
So the movie opens up
with Birds flapping and flying pass the camera as the title hits the
screen, the audience is curious, and nervous, cut to San Francisco,
big city, but we concentrate on one woman, attractive, young, guys
can't help but to wolf whistle as she walks on by, and she is flirty,
she'll wink and smile right back. She is a fan of birds, so visits a
pet shop weekly, in there this particular week she meets an eligible,
single guy. Her attempts at flirting fail when he admits he knows
her, he has heard about how she was recently “pushed” into a
fountain “naked”. During the conversation Mitch (who is the love
interest) brings up that it is his sisters birthday coming up and
that she would love a species of bird known as “Lovebirds”. Our
main protagonists, Melanie then takes it upon herself to purchase
some Lovebirds and drive the 60 miles to where Mitch is living, a
small fishing town. She follows a lead and meets the towns teacher,
Annie. Annie gives Melanie information such as the sisters name and
where they live. Melanie journeys there via boat to “sneak up” on
the house, she lets herself in, drops of the birds and a note and
journeys back. In the water however Mitch returns and spots her, he
gives a playful chase in his car and awaits for her at the docks, as
she approaches the docks though, a seagull swoops down and pecks her
head, drawing blood. Wanting to help, Mitch takes Melanie to the
local restaurant to clean her up, there we are introduced to Mitch's
protective mother, Lydia, who takes an instant dislike to Melanie.
Melanie still manages to get invited to dinner at Mitch's house.
During conversation Melanie has to lie about why she is in town and
says that she is staying with her good friend Annie. Annie does have
a room for rent and agrees to Melanie stay, as Melanie is getting
ready there is an ominous thud, when they investigate, they find that
a seagull has flew into the front door and died. At dinner we are
introduced to Mitch's little sister, Kathy, who takes an instant
warmth to Melanie because of the gift, some more ominous things
begins to happen during dinner, such as a phone call revealing that
the towns chickens are acting up and not eating, not to mention that
the birds are shown to be gathering more and more. Whilst back at
Annie's we learn her back story involving her and Mitch. Mitch rings
Melanie asking that she come to Kathy's birthday party. Even though
it means staying another day, Melanie agrees. At the party birds
suddenly flock down and start to attack the children, the adults
round all the kids up and gets them to safety indoors, worried Lydia
goes to check up on her father the next morning, she discovers him
dead, his house is trashed, the birds have smashed their way through
the windows and pecked his eyes out. In hysteria Lydia returns home
and is put to bed, Melanie looks after Lydia while Mitch goes to the
police, Lydia starts to voice her concerns about Kathy's safety. To
put Lydia's mind at ease, Melanie heads out to the school, everything
seems fine and quiet so Melanie takes a seat on a bench and begins to
smoke, a crow lands behind Melanie, then another, and another and
another until hundreds of crows are there. With help from Annie,
Melanie begins to calmly escort the children out of the school, but
the crows start to attack, horribly pecking at the children. At the
restaurant, the word has got out about the attack at the school, the
town folk are spooked, a mother and her two children are planning to
leave town as is a smartly dressed man, a well educated elderly woman
states that this is impossible, as birds don't have the intelligence
to launch attacks, a drunk in the corner declares that it is gods
punishment, and that it is the end of the world. Suddenly the birds
attack again, this time it is a man filling up his car, this forces
the man to drop the pump and leak petrol everywhere, the smartly
dressed man is lighting a cig at the same time and ignites the
petrol, the birds attack as people are fleeing from the fire in
panic, Mitch saves Melanie and takes her to the hotel, in which they
meet an hysterical woman who screams at Melanie and declares that
this is all her fault, and that the birds only started to attack when
she came into town, Melanie strikes the woman and then leaves with
Mitch to go and find Kathy. Kathy is safe but Annie is found dead,
Kathy says that Annie died protecting her. Mitch barricades his house
to keep everyone safe but the birds attack and nearly get in, they
suddenly stop attacking however which leads everyone to believe that
they are save, for now. During the night, while everyone is sleeping,
Melanie is woken up to noises, she goes to investigate, she finds the
birds have broke through the attic roof and are waiting for her. She
is viciously attacked and falls unconscious, Mitch and Lydia save her
by dragging her out the room but it is clear she needs to get to a
hospital. Mitch ventures outside which by now is covered with
thousands of birds, he gets Melanies car and everyone drives away
onto a unknown future.
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